Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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