You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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