1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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