omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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