Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
