DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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