Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
