im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize