does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
