Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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