Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
