there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
