I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
