try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
