What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
