Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
