hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
