There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
