Where did you get a picture of my penis
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
