Only a mothe r could love this liver
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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