can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
