Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
