i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
