why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
birth control should be required to get into college
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
