he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So. Much. Porn.
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