he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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