dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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