it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
