You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
