so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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