I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize