I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
