oh god the rape fog is back!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
there was a trapeze. enough said
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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