The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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