I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
