I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he thought i was a dude.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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