oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
