At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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