Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my sisters under your porch take her home
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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