Well apparently he's into motor boating.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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