i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize