I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
