Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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