so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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