I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
