I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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