Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
