Sry I called you an 8
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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