Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
