I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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