so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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