Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
