i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize