My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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