I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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