My nipple is on Facebook.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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