that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
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just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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