a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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