it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's just like the Real World with babies
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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