No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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