Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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