I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Damn victory sex feels great
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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