she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
only if we run a train.
done.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
