Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
