so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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